two posts? are you kidding?

i am not kidding. this is my second post today. you’re so welcome.

not satisfied with writing every day for the past few days, here i am writing a second. well. let’s put this in context – i wrote about how i awarded myself a dotty headbanger award and answered her award questions. and that was this morning. a lot has happened since then. i took the dog a totally new walk, round the allotments! more interesting than you’d think. and minutes away from here. it’s going to be my new favourite walk, and there will be pictures.

before coming home i also awarded myself a cut price easter egg. the pinching headache in my forehead might be something to do with the consumption thereof, but the sicky feeling definitely is. i am going to rectify this by quickly dashing to the fridge to get a glass of coke. i am all about the health today. well, it’s the london marathon, we have to make an effort, and after realizing that half my twitter feed were having a #cakeathon i felt i had something to contribute to the culture of scoffing in a hearty manner. and ten is out AT PARTIES. so. it is clearly logical that i should invest in a rolling sugar high and act out.

okay, i am back.

i am back ablog to share this stupid dining idea with you. you know i am a tumblr addict? well, as well as perusing my own feed, i have lately been scrolling through everything tagged interiors. hence i have seen quite a few horrible rooms, and also this perplexing restaurant.

it’s in the phillipines. you dine with your feet in water. click here for more views.

i mean, i get going on a picnic and it being really hot, and putting your feet in a stream, though in the uk that is usually a bit ill advised, since moving water like that will be COLD at all times of year. i like paddling in the sea, myself, so yeah, whatever. but this gives me a series of heebie jeebies.

1. it looks dangerous. what about klutzes? they will slip and fall. if i was there? we will slip and fall. getting our clothes wet and being miserable, bruised, and bad tempered forthwith.

2. i don’t get how it could be fun. sorry. please explain?

3. infection. i see the moving water, but that looks like an invitation to atheletes’ foot to me.

4. how long are we sitting there? will i get a chill? chillblains indeed. whatever blains are.

5. if you work there, do you get trench foot? does nobody care about health and safety at work any more?

talking of work, after my sterling efforts the other day assessing the scene of the dead swan on the towpath, i decided to look and see about jobs in forensics. now, i am totally an ill person, and not likely to work any time soon, but SAY i was suddenly well? i wouldn’t want to go back to teaching art and design, i hate shops, i couldn’t work in a call centre, but i have gutted a fish after only seeing it done once on tv, i watch all the shows, and know what lividity is.

i think i am a NATURAL for the art of the slab.

and it seems that you don’t need to get any new qualifications if you start as an assistant – just pass the pathologist various knives and stuff, and weigh organs and not be a wimp.

i would far rather work with dead bodies than living ones. ill people are busy getting iller or better and they keep CHANGING ALL THE TIME. dead people change, too, but in a less unpredictable way. and they aren’t going anywhere and they won’t sue you if oops butterfingers! PLUS i would never have to wonder what to blog about again! can you imagine? i would have ALL the stories. oh, sure, i would have to sign the official secrets act, but it’s no biggie, i’ve signed it before.

wait.

was that a breach of the official secrets act?

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4 responses to “two posts? are you kidding?

    • i wonder if i cleaned my kitchen if they would let me work from home?

      it would be nice if we could work on the kitchen table and drink tea and have R4 on.

    • god, me too!

      i did a personality & aptitude test to see what i would be most suited to. obviously i am unsuited to anything, but catering came up near the top.

      no, no, and NO.

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