foam slippers

you may have noticed that i haven’t exactly been blogging my heart out lately. well, there’s been a couple of things. first of all, i spent a couple of days ‘hospitalized’. that is to say; i was in a crazy ward. second of all there was an aftermath, which i am only just beginning to emerge from.

to help you visualize something of my stay, here is a picture of the FOAM SLIPPERS they gave me for my visit.

i saved them for this show and tell moment, because of course i have to blog about it, and somehow the foam slippers seem to signify something about my stay.

now, if this was a locked down personal kind of a blog you would get all  the gory details, or at least a stream of consciousness version of it. but since i have the temerity to categorize and tag my blog with the word ‘humor’ my intention is to keep it light. of course, who knows if i will pull that off, but at least i try to care about you, gentle reader.

obviously, it would be good if i had a fictive bone in my body, because then i could write in a way that would protect the innocent/guilty in public without fearing consequences, whatever those might be, but i am one of those accursed souls who can’t write fiction without sounding like a phoney. a recent twitter conversation about this has led me to realize that i am not alone. and the problem with having a public blog is all the disclosure. or at any rate, all the potential disclosure. it’s a challenge to say enough but not too much. so it is what it is. and what it is is a snapshot, and a little hand in the air and a weak voice crying out “i’m still here! YOO HOO!”

in any case, you have read or seen one flew over the cuckoo’s nest? that.

i’ll be drawing a veil over what led to the visit to the underworld that is a psych ward, and, drugged as i was, this particular veil is actually rather opaque, since my remembered experience of it is at odds with what actually happened, and my memory itself is foggy. however, guess what? when they are assessing you for release they really do ask you what date it is, which i am always a little vague about, and YES they actually do ask you who the prime minister is! such a cliche.

thing is, i don’t listen to, read, or watch the news any more, so pretty much all current affairs come to me through the media of topical news quizzes, twitter, and facebook. so it’s all a bit partial and slanted towards lolcatz. this is fine for everyday life, i do hear about salient topics eventually, and sometimes before people who follow the trad media do, as you doubtless know, my virtual chums. however, in politics in the uk, we currently have some sort of power sharing going on, and now that i am less drugged i can tell you that we have mr cameron and mr clegg at the helm, though it does seem that cameron makes the decisions and is hated, whereas clegg is a powerless puppet man who is satirized as being his lackey. none of this came to me in hospital, though, so i answered the question with a simple yes.

relating this story to a friend i was told a rather more worrying tale about someone who was asked about whether she knew why she was in hospital who also answered ‘yes’ and was released. certainly, she knew why she was in. (it was because of an alien conspiracy, dur.) DUR.

so anyway, i’m on new drugs, and things are swimming into view again. i expect to be somewhat up to normal transmission any time soon.

as you were.


13 thoughts on “foam slippers

  1. The “What year is it? Who’s the President” thing is real? You mean that for once films tell the truth?

    Oh, I’d be so *so* tempted to make some snarky comment when asked that… its a good thing I’m on the outside, because if I were in there I’d never get out…

    1. yep. all true. and veeeery tempting to be a smart arse.

      happily i was a bit zonked and had my eye on the main prize, being allowed to go home. pathetic that they let ‘yes’ go as an answer. but it’s not a general knowledge quiz, after all…

      1. I wonder how many people get the questions wrong? There must be a fair few people in blissful ignorance of our lovely co-alition… especially those stressed out from being “on the inside”?

        Think how some telly executive could make a show out of this? Who’d watch Million Pound Drop when they could watch someone answer eight questions to gain their “Freedom”?

        1. well, quite! i could barely remember that there was ‘something wrong’ with the question and had to rely on my wit and cunning to get out of answering it. someone less feral than me might admit that they didn’t currently know… and end up staying on for however long it took them to be desperate enough to watch a couple of go rounds of news on the blaring telly in the communal room. (i spent most of the two days lying on my bed, breaking only to go for meals or appointments or to see my kind visitors.)

          what is so weird is that it really is cliched in there. if you crossed that thing that jo brand was in recently with ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ then you really would have it down.

          my finest hour ‘inside’ was when ten came to see me and gave me a big hug and a member of staff knocked on the window of the nursing station to stop us and i yelled out “FUCKING JOBSWORTH” which is not normally my style…

  2. Glad you’re back with us. Your absence was certainly noticed.

    And as one of those who keeps up with current events, I’m really not so sure who is in the better position. While I was reading your account, I thought you might actually be better off.

    1. i got back on twitter almost straight away, but didn’t have it in me to write properly. i hope that this post un-bungs me and i can get back on it.

      i gave away my tv at a certain point a couple of years ago, so any tv offerings are very ‘chosen’ rather than happened upon, and likewise with the radio. as you might imagine if you have ever heard it, i am rather a radio 4 listener, which is plays and stories and a bit of current affairs, a sort of educated talk radio. but every hour they have the news, and one christmas EVERY news bulletin was about how the govt were going to chuck everyone off benefits and make them crawl over glass to work in a jam factory, or some such. being a rather anxious type, this had me digesting my own organs for about a fortnight before i thought of turning the radio OFF. iplayer has radio as well as telly, so i still get my plays and stories, and a very funny news quiz hosted by sandi toksvig. i was assessed quite quickly, and the woman who saw me was shocked that i was on so few benefits – i told her she was likely to find more evidence of that than of people who should be working shirking. and after that i gave up listening to radio in real time, too. it suits me.

  3. You were missed. And I’m so glad you’re alright.

    I imagine the hospital a very movie-like place, a combination of Cuckoo’s Nest and Girl, Interrupted. Also, if they asked me questions about current events, I would no doubt get very nervous, get them wrong, laugh maniacally, as I do, and be locked up permanently. I don’t do well under pressure.

    1. 1. thank you. i am recovering from *things* partly because of getting ‘in the system’ and not just being read as ‘worried well’. they have given me a new combination of drugs, which VERY happily, so far, have dramatically reduced the frequency of my migraines – it seems that velafaxine can either cause or help migraines. odd.

      2. it was. it was PHENOMENALLY cliched. hardly a moment went by that was not totally hackneyed.

      3. luckily i was quite stoned so didn’t feel nervous. in fact, because of my altered state i was not nervous about a lot of things that i would have been if i had been in an ordinary state of mind. it was a bit pathetic that they let me away with just saying ‘yes’ for ‘do you know who the PM is?’ especially since i was way wide of the mark on the date. still, i suppose that since they are rather short of beds they want to bump people back home as soon as possible.

  4. I am glad to hear you out, and the new medication is (hopefully) working. Its terrible that in this age we still have not figured out a better way to take care of those that need mental treatment though – the gray, dreary warehouse method is certainly not a help.

    The proper answer, when quizzed about current events is, of course, “give me a damn computer so I can look it up for you!”

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