please shut the gate

the horse hasn’t actually bolted yet! so just let’s not be too dramatic… after a tough few days i got up this morning to the most beautiful misty daybreak. poppet and i walked down the canal in the semi darkness mixed with milk and i wished i had my camera with me.

i took it out later on, but not only was the magic mix of light and dark gone, but also i had to wrangle poppet a bit more, with it being later on. and for the first time in ages we played ball, as well, so when she dumped hers on the towpath to snaffle some bread someone was feeding to the birds, i had to put her on the leash. little moo.

this week is going to be all about dealing with the medical and the existential. i feel disappointed that not having migraines or taking migraine meds has not led to actually feeling better or more energetic, so have decided i need to take myself in hand.

the exhaustion i am feeling could be fibro or it could be depression, and i have been feeling low, too. i have scheduled appointments this week – one with ron, my myofacial release guy, and very good friend, which i am looking forward to, and one with the practice nurse at the new dr surgery i am trying to join. that one will probably gain me precisely zero apart from the subsequent right to make an appointment. if i can’t hold out then my plan is to turn up at the local psych hospital, which is probably the quickest way to get someone actually half way qualified to review my meds.

i mean, you never know with a GP here. i was quite spoiled with my last one, not only did he spend as much time as i needed with me, but he also had a working knowledge of psych meds and a 10 year relationship with me… new doc? total gamble. but i need someone local, so that is the state of play – unknown, so therefore potentially terrifying.

anyway, i won’t be on my own all week. i have something of a plan of action. and i have tidied the mountain of paperwork into a sort of workable pile. what can go wrong?

also, i seem to have a whole lot of pigeons in my garden, and no dog seeing them off. what is that about?

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